Bonne Chance @ DAHplaytime

Do It Yourself Good Luck

Good luck charms may lack magical power, but they do seem to provide their owners with a competitive edge, says LiveScience.com. It's a matter of psychology, rather than wizardry: In a series of experiments, German researchers found that when people carried a lucky charm, they set higher goals and felt more confident than people who left their talismanic coin or favorite stuffed animal at home. In one test, subjects who'd been told a golf ball was "lucky" tended to perform better than those who were simply handed the ball. "Superstitious behavior won't help you win the lottery," says psychologist and study co-author Barbara Stoberock. "But it could help you win a sporting event or pass a test." (reported in THE WEEK July 30, 2010)

Shallow Thinking

DAH:   Aaaargh! It's driving me crazy!

Monkey:   Oh, is it me? Please let it be me!

DAH:   It's not you.

Monkey:   Dang.

DAH:   And when have I ever called you "it?"

Monkey:   I was just hopeful.

DAH:   Huh.

Monkey:   It would make me feel more powerful if I were able to drive you crazy.

DAH:   I try not to let anybody, or anything, drive me crazy. But I can't always maintain my calm.

Monkey:   OK, I know you're dying for me to ask. "So, DAH, what's driving you crazy today?"

DAH:   Shallow thinking.

Monkey:   Like when you're lying in just a few inches of water? Be careful! You could drown!

DAH:   Superficial thinking. Bad thinking.

Monkey:   Wow. An ethical slash moral judgment from DAH. That's a rare treat.

DAH:   True. I don't like to judge.

Monkey:   But shallow thinking is bad bad bad!

DAH:   You don't even know what I'm talking about.

Monkey:   But I'm excited nonetheless. Must be your outraged tone, your pacing, your shaking, and your sweating.

DAH:   I'm not doing any of those things.

Monkey:   I'm just taking a few e-ink liberties. But please, go on. Rant about shallow thinking!

DAH:   Sometimes, some people take limited evidence and build ridiculous constructs of illogic upon that shallow base of information.

Monkey:   Like what? Give me an example.

DAH:   Say I show you a photograph of a cute puppy, and say "Isn't that cute?" and you decide that the thing I want most in the world is a puppy, and I must be about to get one, and I'll love that puppy more than you, and so you start making plans to run away because you're scared of dogs and you feel unloved.

Monkey:   I'm not scared of dogs.

DAH:   Or you read an article about a football player you admire, and they mention that eating garbanzo beans is good for your memory ... so you eat nothing but garbanzo beans because you never want to misplace your keys again.

Monkey:   That doesn't make any sense. I hardly ever read, and I never eat garbanzo beans. Yet I have a mind like a steal trap, and dream of playing middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears.

DAH:   My point is that I'm driven crazy when leaps of faith are made to and from non-existent or minimal jump bases.

Monkey:   Why do you even care if people are drawing wacky conclusions from shallow thinking?

DAH:   Because they often want me to take action on their wacky, ill founded, poorly thought-through conclusions.

Monkey:   So tell them they're wrong or crazy or both.

DAH:   Sometimes it's just easier to do what they ask, even when I know they're wrong. It's just easier than trying to argue with them about their bad thinking.

Monkey:   You're telling me you do things you KNOW are not going to work, just because it's easier than telling someone why it won't work.

DAH:   Yes.

Monkey:   You're pathetic.

DAH:   And that's what makes me crazy.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at DAHplaytime

I have too many unread books. I'm suffering chronic reader's remorse, book-buyer's remorse. They call to me from the shelves as I walk by.

Mulling Over The Future

DAH:   What next?

Monkey:   What what next?

DAH:   I'm just mulling over the future.

Monkey:   Mulling? 

DAH:   Yeah, mulling.

Monkey:   Like adding spices to wine?

DAH:   No.

Monkey:   Like joining two doors or windows together?

DAH:   No.

Monkey:   Like fermenting tobacco?

DAH:   No.

Monkey:   Like steaming felt or straw before blocking?

DAH:   No. 

Monkey:   Like a holiday tramp around an island in the Inner Hebrides?

DAH:   Uh, no.

Monkey:   Like something to do with a layer of non-acidic humus formed in well-drained and aerated soil?  

DAH:   WHAT!? Really, no.

Monkey:   Then what the heck are you talking about?

DAH:   The future. When I think about it, there are lots of possibilities, but I have to choose if I want to actualize the possibilities that make sense for me, that have meaning.

Monkey:   Oh, you mean like pondering, or studying on an idea or notion.

DAH:   Yes.

Monkey:   Then why didn't you say so?

DAH:   I thought I did.

Monkey:   Too many possibilities, buddy. Too many possibilities.

DAH:   Yes.

DAH is David Anthony Hance at DAHplaytime