I read in the newspaper about 'The Girls from Ames,' a book by Jeffrey Zaslow. I tells the story of a circle of girlfriends from Ames, Iowa, who have hung together as friends, despite geographical separations and various life challenges since their grade school days. They're now in their 40s.
I've always had some circle of friends. But, apparently, it's rare. More rare for men than women, too (men, according to what I read, tend to build bonds around activities - bonds that tend to end if the activities end). Maybe involvement in theater helped with DAH building a circle of friends. While each production would end, we often hooked up with one another for other productions, and would often find things to do together because we were around the theater.
At dinner the other evening, it was clear from our conversation about this subject that, while all of us had friends, a consistent circle of friends was a bit unusual. I have one group of friends from High School, and we still get together as a group at least a couple of times each year. I have another group of friends from early in my wine industry career. Some of those are gone (MIA or really gone), and we meet infrequently, but there's still a bond there. And I've got a loose set of theater friends from Ukiah, that form a circle, too.
I've always thought of my world as sets of tribes, different sets of friends. Some of them close to me, some of them orbiting farther out (but readily identifiable as members of the tribe, nonetheless).
It is a lonely thought for me, to think that there aren't circles of friends for everyone. My family isn't very large, and I'd be quite at sea in the world without my friends. I guess those with larger families get a sense of belonging from those families. But my bigger family, my blood relations, my circles of friends, and my tribes are necessary to sustain me.
I've always had some circle of friends. But, apparently, it's rare. More rare for men than women, too (men, according to what I read, tend to build bonds around activities - bonds that tend to end if the activities end). Maybe involvement in theater helped with DAH building a circle of friends. While each production would end, we often hooked up with one another for other productions, and would often find things to do together because we were around the theater.
At dinner the other evening, it was clear from our conversation about this subject that, while all of us had friends, a consistent circle of friends was a bit unusual. I have one group of friends from High School, and we still get together as a group at least a couple of times each year. I have another group of friends from early in my wine industry career. Some of those are gone (MIA or really gone), and we meet infrequently, but there's still a bond there. And I've got a loose set of theater friends from Ukiah, that form a circle, too.
I've always thought of my world as sets of tribes, different sets of friends. Some of them close to me, some of them orbiting farther out (but readily identifiable as members of the tribe, nonetheless).
It is a lonely thought for me, to think that there aren't circles of friends for everyone. My family isn't very large, and I'd be quite at sea in the world without my friends. I guess those with larger families get a sense of belonging from those families. But my bigger family, my blood relations, my circles of friends, and my tribes are necessary to sustain me.
DAH is David Anthony Hance at www.DAHplaytime.com and www.VintageNewWorld.com
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